My name is Zulaikah, I’m 31 and live in the North of England. I wanted to participate in the Props archive because, given my situation, my family’s situation and my faith, I relate to the theme of “isolation and lost freedoms”.
My situation
I have had a loved one who has been incarcerated for a very long time under the Terrorism Act. My experience of isolation didn’t start after he was arrested, however, but began before that because I wear a hijab.
• Prisoners are looked down on in society as it is, being a prisoner held under the Terrorism Act brings a whole different dimension of a world to both the prisoner, and their family. Shunned, isolated, and neglected in communities, receiving hatred and threats from bigots, living with the assumption of guilt by association – these are all very common factors.
• I have been heavily scrutinised for continuing to love, respect and support my father, as a father, because he is a prisoner. This has been almost used against me as though I by extension support terrorism.
• Prior to this, being an intelligent young Muslim girl, I made the personal choice to wear the face veil at a young age. Many people believe that women/young girls are oppressed and forced to wear it, and it is assumed that we do not want to integrate in society. The truth, in my story has been quite the contrary:
I was accepted at many colleges due to passing all my GCSEs. I remember being wholeheartedly ready and excited to embark on my new journey for furthering my education, however after being promised a place at all the colleges I applied to, I was rejected ONLY after they saw me in person. It was specified that “this was discussed with the school teachers and agreed that the veil would be a “barrier” so unfortunately you cannot attend this college”. I had never felt so crushed, isolated and rejected in my life. That is the very first day I felt oppressed, alienated and isolated in my life.• For veiled women, people’s attitudes before the pandemic and after the pandemic have been interesting. The very people who would mock and belittle us, or claim they cannot hear us, or say that a face veil is a security threat, are all seen covering their faces today. In fact, we are informed that we MUST cover our faces by law, when women in France and other EU countries have been fined for covering their faces. Personally, hearing loudspeakers in the most public, ordinary places such as supermarkets requesting us to cover our faces has been a surreal experience.
Three things in my bag
Three objects on my shelf
The kinds of things people say about me
“Terrorists.”
“Family of terrorists.”
“Get them out of this country.”
What I would change if I had super powers
I would attempt to change hearts for the better by:
-focusing on ways to build knowledge and respect and understanding for a healthier society – make it an obligation for the rich to help the poor
-use our taxes in a much more fruitful, productive way
Something I see out of my window
Trees and snow
An object which marks a threshold or boundary in my life
My reflection. Myself. My weaknesses. We are our greatest critics. We create our own boundaries and limitations.
I believe as long we are not displeasing our Lord, we can pursue great heights, with His help.
On the other hand, those of us who are serving our ego instead of God may “achieve”, but the satisfaction and feeling of sincere contentment will be missing.
This rose is made from pressed, dried bread and later delicately designed and painted with love. It is amazing to think of how creative a person can be whilst sat in a cell! I’ve never thought you could ever create anything out of bread, let alone a rose. It is a very thoughtful and heartfelt gift.
A ritual I can’t do without
Definitely my prayer and invocations to Allah (God)
We raise our hands and pour out our heart – everything we feel whether it is shame, hurt, sadness – and we beg for what we desire. Quran states that Allah says, “Call on Me; I will answer your (prayer).”
My favourite position for prayer is the prostration where my forehead, nose, hands, and knees are pressed against the ground, whispering praises of Allah. It is a pure moment of submission from a created slave to her Master, a moment where all reliance, all trust is submitted to God alone, and all worries are washed into His trust. It is a very empowering action.
A random comment I overheard
“She is just jealous” Who knows who the person was talking about? Honestly, I’m usually in my own world ?
Three pieces of music that get me through
Quran recitation in general. I do not understand the Arabic, so I have to read the English translation to understand it. However, even so, simply listening to the harmonious recitation is soothing enough to calm and relax me.
Lastly, I like to listen to nature: it is a kind of music. There are godly signs in every form of nature. I find the sound of water very therapeutic, particularly sound and sight of waterfalls, the oceans or simply rain.
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